All characters featured in Jesus Strikes Back are fictional, and any resemblance to real world figures alive or dead is purely coincidental. Jesus Strikes Back also features bonus playable characters that are not listed here.


Nationality: N/A
Occupation: Messiah

The holy and loving chosen one. His return to the world was not welcomed by the New World Order regime. His message of love and peace was rejected and met with violent resistance. With no other option, it is up to he without sin to cast thy first bullet.


Nationality: Austrian-German
Occupation: Part time artist, full time German saviour

Dolph foresaw the coming catastrophe that would ultimately be the New World Order and thus documented the threat in his eBook “the struggle” (immediately banned from online retailer Amazun). Dolph is arguably the greatest gamer to have ever graced the Earth – his gamer record kill streak unmatched by any other gamer.


Nationality: American
Occupation: American Hero

Previously the leader of the land of the free, he was dethroned by the growing rise of the communists(rallied by the fake news propaganda). Tromp barely managed to escape with his life, but never one to let things slide, he picked up his AR-15 and is thirsty for revenge, ready to make his old country great again.


Nationality: Russian
Occupation: Hockey Champion

A master of judo and the former leader of a very cold country. Being a wise man of great judgement, Pootin never trusted the growing New World Order. After the NWO conquered Russia, Pootin had no choice but to flee with his life, making a single vow to return and become even more powerful than before.


Nationality: Italian
Occupation: Angry Italian

Mussolino was a fierce critic of the radical socialists and NWO on his Twittor account, until he was deplatformed and had all his assets frozen and seized. With all his possessions taken, he fled with nothing but a burning desire in his heart for revenge.


Nationality: French
Occupation: Emperor

Napolion climbed up the corporate ladder to ultimately become emperor of France, however he lost everything after being defeated at Waterloo by the radical socialists. He was exiled to a distant island, but being a man of stone and iron, he escaped ready to reclaim his old kingdom.


Nationality: Brazilian
Occupation: Army Officer

After Brazil was conquered by the rainbow militants and radical socialists, Bolselnoro began a one man crusade to save his home country from the invading rapists.


Nationality: German
Occupation: Housewife

Blonde haired, blue eyed Eva is not only just the loyal wife of Dolph, but also a pro-gamer in her own right. She enjoys nothing more than competing for the highest kill streak in a CO-OP gaming session with Dolph.


Nationality: Resident of the Holy Land
Occupation: Crusader

At the end of the crusades, Sir Deus Vult  was personally noticed by the Pope due to his outstanding gaming kill streak. It was then decided that such an excellent soldier should be cryogenically frozen indefinitely Рready to be resurrected when the world needed him most. 


Nationality: Australian
Occupation: Shitposter

Brent T spent his early years as a professional shitposter, trolling the internets with a fuck load of memes. After years spent on what he felt was an unfulfilling life, Brent T decided to turn his back on a life of eternal shitposting, and decided to become an Epic Gamer instead.


Nationality: Ogre
Occupation: Onion Farmer

When the evil sorceress A. Merkill¬†began invading distant lands with armies of radical illegal aliens, even¬†Shrekt’s swamp wasn’t safe (despite being very far, far away). Shrekt, being a simple and peaceful ogre, was welcoming to the invaders, ready to peacefully share his swamp. That all changed however when the radical illegal aliens kidnapped and gangbanged Shrekt’s donkey. Needless to say, Shrekt had no choice but to become an epic gamer and get ’em out of his swamp.